Hot take: I’ll put on my asbestos underwear, but … I frankly no longer really care who gets the shot how. We are socializing with other fully vaccinated peers so everyone is being very open about their vaccination status/schedule. He’s reacting like you’re a child to be punished, and that attitude sends up all sorts of red flags. I had a friend go into a longwinded explanation why she got a jab a week before her true eligibility date. That sounds very clear to me! Once I was traveling for work, in another state. We cannot seem to agree on this issue at all, and it drives me crazy that she won’t listen. Nobody asks. However, driving 6 hours to pick up a sick kid doesn’t exactly work. She can even discuss those feelings with her own friends or other relatives on that day. 4. I had to unpack all of that just to convince *myself* – not even other people – that I “deserve” to get the vaccine when the only reason I’m eligible for it is the ratio of my weight to my height. My mom works in a call center that has insane policies like this, and she’s gotten written up for calling in sick with no notice. So at this time, I find the “I got my vaccine today” social media posts a positive thing in the sense that 1) the more people around me have it, the faster the herd immunity will rise and the sooner we will return to normal, and 2) I know people that are afraid to get the vaccine for reasons I cannot agree with, and maybe seeing that everyone around them is getting it and doing well after, will help change their mind. Agreed – the only actual offer you have is from Company B. I would take it as well. I had people telling me early in the pandemic that I had better lose weight so I won’t die of COVID, and if I catch it before I lose the weight I don’t deserve a hospital bed. You don’t have to do it at work and you don’t have to do it here IMO. South Carolina is something like 44th in vaccinations per capita, and a whole lot of people who want vaccines haven’t been able to get them. I am far more scared of medical fatphobia in the age of COVID-19 than anything else, and the only way to challenge those systems is by speaking out about them. Yeah, I feel that sometimes when I see people doing “Donate blood today, so important!” since I can’t give blood for medical reasons. Thank you for this. This is literally what happened to me, about a week before appointments opened up for everyone in our state. ” We can not question God’s motives. I agree with Alison this is a good time for all of us to be building up that expectation of privacy around medical details like this. I crave for my husband to see how much other men want and l*** to be with me. It’s tough to read “encouraging” messages or people who frame it as a moral choice–I know they’re talking past me to the anti vaxxers and covid deniers, but it’s not just a moral choice! Seeing how punitively this boss is dealing with the issue,I think it’s a safe bet this isn’t the only screwball thing happening at your job. In addition, #1, if an American, do you live in a state or city with guaranteed paid sick leave accrual? The sexy girl wants nothing more than to see his seed come gush out of its tip right in her mouth. The more people who get vaccinated the better. But like, I just don’t engage in vax small talk with people I’m not close to or who don’t need to know. I think that felt better to me than thinking about my team members possibly speculating would have. Out of interest, do you have similar objections to people posting about other positive experiences in their lives? It’s also possible to just say “underlying health conditions” and not be clear about which health conditions. Vagueness is associated with lying, but vagueness does not indicate lying. #5 I was in a similar situation. You wanted to work in this other field and you have the chance — do what YOU think benefits you in the long run. He is a workaholic who constantly smokes pot to deal with his emotions. I knew of someone, a factory worker, who got fired because she left work without her supervisor’s permission when she got a phone call that her sister had been killed in a car accident. Your husband and your boss are both in the wrong, but your boss is far more wrong than your husband. Loving Wives Turns out I was eligible earlier due to my job category. Loving Wives 11/03/17: Trust (4.60) Can a man learn to trust again after being betrayed? You can’t have a conversation ever. I can do without the emoji/hashtag/meme/exclamation point effluvia that goes with it. Counterpoint: There are a lot of areas, especially more rural ones, where vaccine appointments by the dozen were and are sitting unused. I’ve tried to tactfully mention it in passing to one of my aunts who usually hosts, but she brushed me off. Yes – I’d view it that they’re making long term plans for that role but not specifically for LW personally. I think the location I’ll be getting it at puts me in the clear morally. I disagree with the husband calling and the boss’s suspension, but suspect this was not a one time incident, and that hubby was probably a threatening jerk on the.phone. Then I took off my jacket and they gave me the jab and put a bandaid on and told me to wait for 15 minutes in case I had an allergic reaction.”, Nosy coworker: “No, but why did *you* get a vaccine?”, Me (perplexed): “Umm…where have you been for the last year?! @Vaccination Train – I think people have shared a lot of valid and logical reasons on here for why they are sharing, or encouraging their friends to share, their vaccinations, that have nothing to do with you or with bullying. At this point, any adult that wants a shot can get it. If anyone presses, you can just say “I prefer not to go into that. Thats a totally different thing also, and I am happy for them. Many managers would NOT react so inappropriately, but they WOULD remember that your spouse interfered, and would let it colour their impressions of your independence, judgment and suitability for more senior assignments. nothing more. Don’t suffer alone. And I may in a very small way play into it…. And I have friends in other US states that are ~1 month behind. There are SO MANY decisions people make by word of mouth and social pressure. I’m madly in love with my girlfriend. If somebody said that to my wife, about MY KID, I’d be beyond livid. Good point as some ppl just want to know how to access it. Company A said it was a 7-9 month contract and they were interested in making it permanent in 2021 if the budget allowed. I had a big argument with my friends (via facebook) on this, about white people from our wealthy county not driving an hour or two to poorer, more racially diverse counties and taking up appointments there. Not everyone can take 2 days off of work for 2 6 hr round trip drives. While your manager is completely out of line to suspend you or demand that your DH report for a scolding, at least you are seeing the real impact of having a spouse interfere in your job / career. There is so much confusion and misunderstanding. Indefinite suspension??? I was all set to wait until I was eligible in general population, but I was talked into it by people I really trust for similar reasons that you did. Gay men, bi men, and women who date bi men aren’t allowed to donate because of outdated and homophobic standards. Have at least one friend who got vaxxed before me that I’m I’m worried about letting my team down if I take another offer. There is plenty of good scientific data out there on this. I also qualified under my BMI and I, too, have mixed feelings about it. But it’s really irresponsible to advise pregnant women to continue being exposed to a huge risk to avoid the much smaller risk of vaccination. Would it be unprofessional of me to ask my boss if I can stay at my parents’ place the night before and drive to the event the day of to save the company from paying for my hotel accommodation? you are out of town at the request of your boss; if you’re injured at your relative’s home, you aren’t covered in the same way. People are posting their vaccine selfies because they’re excited. Your wife needs to feel that she is more important than your business or job, and especially more important than your mother, children, friends, sports, and hobbies. Also we are not designed to have 24 hour food/takeway shops on tap. Something around 1/3 of Americans have already been partially or fully vaccinated. In those cases I wonder who is being paid more – the husband or the wife. Or should I stick with it for the sake of my son? Husband and Boss completely out of line. One friend said that when we constantly remind our husbands about diet, weight, medication, picking up the dry cleaning, etc., we are actually acting more like his mother than his wife. It’s just not relevant, and if they don’t believe her because she says “family” instead of “parents”, that’s a sign that there is something badly wrong there. I’d rather take Company B’s offer, but Company A is a great place with great people, and I know my team is swamped and really need the extra person and are already making long-term plans that involve me! I don’t mind helping them out with indepth information and reassurance because in this case we really DON’T have to worry that it’s a grand experiment to sterilise us etc. Without knowing more I’m hesitant to judge the husband too harshly for not picking up the kid. Nobody needs any further information. Jack Sparrow / Pexels “Because Dad’s job is more imp—” I stopped myself. It’s a valid viewpoint, but I admit I’m happy to see so many people posting about getting their own vaccine. I shared mine because it was such a relief and a weight off my shoulders when I got poked. And yet! I’ve still been open about it mainly because i want to be able to come in more (I don’t like home office). I’m obese and asthmatic. Unwilling, unequipped, understaffed to flip people into supine position – delays treatment If people want to be selfish and “jump the line”, that’s on them. I’ve had a few friends who have expressed similar conflicting feelings of shame about the validity of their place in line because their BMI qualifies. #2 Answer spot-on. But if it is, while I wouldn’t advise somebody to act that way, I wouldn’t judge them very harshly for it either — whereas normally I think that calling your SO’s boss is both disrespectful and worryingly controlling. If you’re happy with the job offer, and the rest is just an invitation to interview, take the offer. I’m actively hoping it doesn’t do what the tetanus shot did to me and put me on my back for a week (my cat bit me, so had to go get the shot) but that’s because my immune system is very powerful but has ROTTEN aim. I don’t care how. My sister is prone to having BAD symptoms to stomach flus and has ended out in the emergency room on iv fluids more than once. It causes admin hassle for the vaccinators and wastes the time of the colleagues. and nobody asked why, and I certainly didn’t volunteer it. Your husband’s job is meeting his needs in some way. Not aware of any health condition that would make him eligible. My middle aged daughter and SIL have been able to get the vaccine in the 1c phase which includes so many occupations you would not necessarily expect. I also have two people (that I know of) who can’t get it due to other medical conditions and they (or their parent) have said that they find it really helpful to see so many people being open about getting it as it gives them hope that we will get to the point where herd immunity will keep them safe, too. Like, when you see ads encouraging people not to smoke you don’t go “why is this popping up on my screen, I’ve never smoked in my life!” right? Now if someone at work asked me if it was because of my weight….then it’s time for ye olde British sarcasm. I also think at some point, it reaches critical mass and it becomes less about information and becomes this bubble of like-minded individuals preaching to the choir, patting themselves on the back and ignoring the very real issues that those outside their understanding might have. And since I don’t work for him. I wish people would just accept that some folks get a higher priority than others. At first I was furious that they got the vaccines early when they obviously weren’t taking things seriously, and then I decided that the community was better off if they were vaccinated as soon as possible, since they’re going to be out and about breathing on people anyway. I think whether or not the husband’s anger was “reasonable” depends on whether it was, “But my child needs medical attention and won’t get it unless my wife can take time off!” or “But if my wife can’t take time off, *I’m* going to have to!” If it’s the latter, then it’s just as entitled as any other, “I will interfere in my wife’s relationship with her boss” call. If he has to cancel, make it up to her. The response: “Technically, everyone is taking someone else’s spot. It’s very common for people to have a skewed perception and be genuinely surprised to find out that their friends are classified as obese. I can only imagine how helpful it must be for community members to publicize their vaccinations to the community. This is the reason for our break up. After the accident and I was mentally able to speak his name days later, my husband confessed that seeing me with this guy at the car lot that day made him decide that he finally wanted to work on our marriage. I have absolutely zero sympathy for those who refuse to get it on principle even if they’re eligible, they deserve to feel bad about their choice, even if I doubt they do. I’d say later on as the vaccine is being rolled out more broadly employers will start to need to know so they can confidently organise large face to face gatherings. I think we’re very well-matched (hotness-wise), but I don’t compare him to other men in that way. Some of it might depend on how many nights. A: The good news is that you’re not being insensitive by wanting to change how much time and space you grant to conversations about your friend’s divorce after two years of granting it a great deal of time and space, indeed. I qualified for the vaccine for the same reason and I’m not even bothering to tell people that I’m vaccinated aside from my doctors and my friends. I have absolutely no respect or patience for people spreading covid misinformation (about the virus, the vaccine, whatever). These potentials still don’t negate the potential that fatphobia in treatment may be causing worse outcomes as well. They don’t know I’m on meds for high blood pressure. I’m really worried for him and hoping that it’s not Covid, just vacation days and a smoker’s cough. #4, your company might have a policy around this that could help out. Bad news: I’m not sure how to tell my coworkers. It is easy where we are to get a vaccine if eligible but 2 mos ago it was very very difficult and you had to be computer savvy and assertive to find one — and this of course disadvantaged those who are poor, poorly educated or without computers and computer savvy. At some point we all have to learn how to be happy for other people even when we’re jealous of them. (She had my chart open too, so she could have just glanced at my illustrious roster of medical issues and answered her own question. I could understand (not necessarily agree with, but understand) a line of thinking like that. Before you call child services, let me be clear: Of course you have to love your kids. I want to add that opening up eligibility is partly a balance between efficiency of distribution and making sure priority groups get it first. +1. He said they were literally cussing them out and calling them lazy for having to wait 5 minutes. So, how much MORE should we be ensuring that people know that they can be vaccinated against a highly contagious, deadly disease? BMI is also, honestly, not that indicative of anything at all except size. Loving someone who is an angry person or dealing with constant anger issues and feelings of negativity can feel quite challenging. Unless he has locked her into the office there is nothing that can stop you from leaving. I’ve been burned before by this. Internet hugs if you want them :(. I really hope there is an HR or someone above boss that they can talk to because this is so wrong! This will also save our company the cost of a hotel, so it’s a win-win!”. I don’t mean to criticize LW4 for asking, just struggling to figure out what the problem could possibly be. Maybe it is nice to share. If we stay with someone rather than go to a hotel we can actually give them a hostess gift or take them out to dinner or something like that as a thank you and expense it (up to $100 if I remember correctly). Whatever you tell your co-workers, congratulations! Her husband mistakenly marked her as obese when signing them up, not realizing that obese and overweight are actually different BMI categories. and it is good to make the statement ‘if you wanted me in that position, you would have offered it to me’ by not applying and accepting the other job. Big Corp does not really care about your $100 room at the Hampton Inn and saying you’d be doing it to save the company money would seem a little… out of touch with how little that amount of money means to them? I went to my doctor once because I found a lump in my breast and all she wanted to talk about was my weight. If they were to include that information on a résumé or as an online link, a recruiter would receive subtle clues about who they are and are not. Heck, even at this point, so many people are eligible or are picking up spare doses at their local pharmacy at the end of the day that it’s not even surprising anymore, and nobody is very curious as to “how” or “why” someone is vaccinated. I am extremely in favor of using peer pressure to get people to get vaccinated once they are eligible, period. You cannot catch (or spread) COVID from the vaccine. I could not give blood for a long stretch because I had done work in the Middle East and there was a ban on blood from there because of some sort of untested for bug that was carried by sand fleas in the deserts of the area I worked. BUT. There’s never going to be a time when leaving isn’t going to cause some kind of inconvenience. And you never need to discuss your reasons for eligibility. He was all over me for a year. That’s exactly how I got mine. I was able to grab up an appointment about 2 miles from our house for my husband on Thursday night for Friday, which shocked me. This is a list of all the possible jobs a villager can take. Wait a couple weeks and when it comes up, vaguely say “Yeah, I got mine not long ago.”. I can’t get upset that someone is doing the right thing that helps themselves and the community for a potentially silly reason. No one can stop you taking your kid to the hospital. The best thing about having gotten the vaccine is not needing to think about it anymore, and hopefully so not talk about it anymore. But obviously OP knows their own coworkers and hopefully has a sense of whether they are the type of people who would react in a crappy way and demand an explanation. I don’t give a s**t about BMI because it’s a broken mess but I do care about putting my life in the hands of someone who is likely to consider me less worth saving than others. Likes to nom on my joints. I thought it was interesting that the LW said that “I feel like I need to go through with submitting my application at least.” LW, don’t fill out an application just to be polite if you really don’t want the job; that’s really not helping either you or your current company. If you live somewhere like where I do, where open availability of the vaccine is probably a few months away, I’d err on the side of not announcing your vaccination to colleagues until your age group is closer to eligibility.
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